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Author: Subject: I feel like my story isn't exciting enough...
Alies
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smiley16.gif posted on 7-1-2010 at 01:15 PM
I feel like my story isn't exciting enough...


Hiya,

I've done several attempts and writing stories but I seem to stick on the same problem. I feel like my introduction takes too long before something really exciting happens.

I would love to hear your opinion/advice for the story I want to write on this JulNoWriMo:

The story is called Abandoned (In dutch: Verlaten)
I divide the story in three parts:

Part 1: Male's POV. Male and Girl end up on a planet where there is hardly even life. They wake up in a desert of orange/grey sand. Male and Girl don't like each other. With the help of flashbacks we get to know the reason of the male's abandon, taking about 1/4 of this part.

Part 2: Female's POV. Male starts to like female. There are some situations where he needs to help her. Male get food poisoning. Female takes care of him. They discover a cave. Almost kiss, but get interrupted by Aliens. Male and Female think up a plan in order to get back to earth. Female has to adapt herself to the alien tribe (and sort of marries one of them), in order to give the Male access to the advanced technology. We also get to know why the female is abandoned; again taking about 1/4 of this part.

Part 3: Narrative. Female cried on shoulder of Male. Aliens do not appreciate that and try to kill the Male. Female saves Male, but gets injured herself. Male works on the technology he has gotten in order to get them home, while trying to get out of the hands of the aliens.

I feel like the excitement only starts halfway through part 2.
How can I make part 1 more exciting? I thought of the lack of water and food. But is that enough?




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[*] posted on 7-1-2010 at 01:18 PM


I'm not really sure how to help you. I'd say pick up the pace, but I know that's hard. Um . . . I have no idea. I'm having the same problem.



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[*] posted on 7-1-2010 at 01:38 PM


Make it creepy, man. Like, as creepy as possible. You know, weird shadows and lots of foreboding that says ALIENS MAN RUN AWAAAAAAAY....!



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[*] posted on 7-1-2010 at 02:12 PM


You could try using other obstacles besides lack of nutrition.
Maybe a storm? Or just some heavy foreboding?

Good luck!




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[*] posted on 7-2-2010 at 09:23 PM


If I want to add excitement to my story, I just add it. What do I mean by that? Go off-script. I don't know if you have an outline either formal or in your head, but don't be afraid to totally go off track. You can always find a way to get back on track, but maybe you'll discover something cool enough where you don't even want to return to the original plot. If you can't come up with any ideas, watch a few action movies or thrillers -- don't copy them, but get inspired and think of how you can make similar situations fit your characters and plots.



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[*] posted on 7-2-2010 at 09:40 PM


Switch around part 1 and part 2. Nothing says you have to start at the beginning. P:

Or if you don't like that, you say the male and female don't like each other? Take it to the very extreme. Have them fighting a lot, physically fighting; maybe have one of them try to kill the other. Throw someone off a cliff. Anything to show how much hatred they have in their breasts reserved just for the other person. And there’s always some sort of bug in an alien desert. Have them be attacked by something insanely giant, mindless, and blood thirsty. Let this thing stalk them for a couple chapters, and then write out a battle scene to boost your word count.

But that's just my idea. xD
Good luck to you!




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